What is it about names that people feel they have the right to shorten them? People often shorten the names of places--as if they are too lazy or too busy to say the entire name, but that is not what I am talking about. I mean the names of people. They are introduced to "Robert" and say, "Hi Bob, nice to meet you"--Robert does not go by Bob and was never introduced as such. It is perfectly polite to ask if someone has a nickname or, better yet, they might propose that you call them by a shortened form of their name or another diminutive they sometimes use. But it is an assumption that you can call them by any name you choose--whether that person wants you to or not. An example is my 7 year old son--Joshua. He goes by the name of Joshua and most children call him by that. Many adults, however, call him "Josh" without asking what he would like to be called. Or else they ask,"can I call you Josh?"; which, of course, to an adult he says "sure" (what else would he say to a teacher, parent, or school staff?). They never seem to note that I call him Joshua and that he introduced himself as such. A parent of one of my students went by Mrs. Johnson and when a social worker asked "is it Barbara?", the mother answered "my name is Mrs. Johnson." Shakespeare's "A rose by any other name..." lines are not always true. A name is what defines us, tells who we are from, and how we see ourselves. A Peg brings up a different mental picture than Margaret, Margie, Maggie, or other name. I chose to change to my full name as a teenager after a childhood of a nickname; my daughter did the same when she started middle school. When one reinvents oneself, one usually choose a different name as well. Calling your teacher Ms. Jones is different than calling her Janie. Call a person the name they were introduced by; whether it be Ms. Brown or Chuckles unless he or she invites you to call them something else.
